


But for all that have suffered.

by leopardlynx



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Drabble, Poetry, Program analyzation from a character's pov i guess, can you stop bugging me for fics now winnie, hope and legacy, i dont need romance to give you feels fite me, knife shoes appreciation society, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 13:17:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15996014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leopardlynx/pseuds/leopardlynx
Summary: “Have you thought about your new program for the 2017 - 2018 season?”“My program?”-or, in which the author writes prose about the meanings and creation behind Hope and Legacy





	But for all that have suffered.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont need romance to give you feels fite me

_ “Have you thought about your new program for the 2017 - 2018 season?” _

_ “My program?” _

 

-

 

There is a queerness about this particular program.

It is not created for the scrutiny of judges. It is not planned to be shown to millions of awaiting fans. It is not a program choreographed meticulously by experts. 

It is first created by a brush on paper, dipped in a pooling ink of raw anger and regret and disappointment in mortal bodies that blossomed into hope at four am - (when sheets are tossed aside in fits of fury and dusty notebooks are pulled out with a dawning inspiration). 

It is drafted and smudged away with blackening fists, overflowing ideas tangled with each other and not knowing where matching puzzle pieces fit  _ yet _ . 

 

It is first performed in an empty rink, not for any coach or refining advisors to see; it is for one person in front of large mirrors. It is for the unsatisfied yet bright eyed young boy that sits behind a plaque - ‘Yuzuru Hanyu 2014’ - wearing a bitter medal.

 

_ It will be about hope. _

 

Teary eyes after a long program that had two falls. Angry clenched fists, nails digging into palms after a failed jump. Long breaths harshly leaving him as he sat on uncomfortable chairs in front of cameras. Cameras that seemed to follow him everywhere, little blinking red dots focused on his face, his ankles, his character. Hope that they would leave him alone, hope that their lenses would not catch the glistening tears on his cheeks. 

Hope that one day, there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind when announcers spoke of his titles. 

 

_ It will be about legacy. _

 

Triple flip - triple axel- quad loop- they are all the same. Each is a yearning to lift off from the unforgiving ice only to fall and meet it again. Each is a story, albeit, a little different from each other, but similar in a hundred ways. A quad axel is not so different, now it is symbol of greatness - only when unachieved. After broken, pandora’s box will open and all will learn it, abuse it, and slowly forget it’s meaning. 

 

Introverted music that flows onto the ice are not meant for the judges eyes, it’s not meant to be  _ judged _ \- only seen, accepted, let into a sanctuary of hearts. 

 

_ Not just  _ **_my_ ** _ legacy, _

 

Hands in front, his eyes gazing directly at them, the tips of black blades the only thing connecting them to the ice, lifted for a moment as if wings were grazing the sky - a moment of self reflection. A quirk of a smile indulging his past.  

 

_ But for all that have suffered.  _

 

What is the purpose of spending months into creating four minutes and thirty seconds of movement that would be pick apart by judges, brushed off by people who do not understand? 

 

There isn’t. This program is not crafted for them, it is for those who have ever suffered and been struck to their core of a realization that maybe their legacy will not define them. That maybe, one day, they will be forgotten. 

 

With this in mind, let every detail be run through again and again, large swooping arms transitioning into small ticks of the fingertips. 

Let this performance show all of his vulnerability, the battered shield worn from protecting it, show the heartfelt confessions of his hope and legacy. 

 

-

 

“Hanyu Senshu? Your thoughts?”

 

The corners of his lips twitched up into a secretive smile, only deciphered by those looking back from the future. 

 

“I haven’t really thought about it, no.”

**Author's Note:**

> join our figure skating discord for yelling about skaters and waking up at 4am to watch aci with us https://discord.gg/ysBmtmG


End file.
